Pure Michigan
Seems legit.
Last night I had this crazy dream where Erik Estrada was defending the Alamo from a Chupacabra attack OH WAIT THAT’S A REAL MOVIE AIRING AT 9 O’CLOCK TONIGHT ON SYFY CHANNEL EVERYBODY WATCH!!! CHUPACABRA VS THE ALAMO!!!
This will probably be the high point of my day
My friend Sarah just made fun of me for crying while we were watching Of Mice and Men so I reminded her that she cried when she found out that her brother had died.
Apparently it’s okay for a woman to cry when a drunk slams his pickup into a wall but it’s not okay for a man to cry while watching two Academy Award nominees give heartfelt performances. Whatevs.
My New Years resolution is to stop telling everybody that I was the drummer on Sonic Youth’s Murray Street album.
Officially the greatest picture I’ve ever seen.
Professor Snape actually faked his death. He now works for what the muggles call “American Airlines.”
Please get on flight three hundred and ninety fourrr.
Omg
There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations on this flight.
Please do not leave any baggage unattended, people might think you’re…………………….
……………….
……..
up to something.
You’re still working here, after all this time?
Always
Omg stop
You must have your boarding pass ready prior to your arrival at the gate. Do NOT disappoint me…
Holy fuckballs this is a thing that exists!
“Hey there’s no soap in the men’s room.”
“Alright, just put some Lysol in there.”
“That’s not the same thing, though.”
“It’s close enough.”
-the staff at Snookers, probably
Black Friday is just the government’s way of shortening Black History Month.
What am I thankful for this Thanksgiving? I’m thankful that the new Flavor Flav’s Chicken & Ribs is opening soon!
