Tig Notaro (x)
so my cat does this weird thing where she’ll play with something and then all of a sudden she’ll start meowing because everything single time she gets her claw stuck and then she’ll just look at me meowing because she expects me to get her unstuck. every. single. time.
if it makes you feel any better yesterday i tried to heat up a frozen pizza and i decided it’d be a great idea to put it on a plastic cutting board
let me repeat: i thought it’d be okay to put a frozen pizza on a plastic cutting board in a 450* F oven